Thursday, February 25, 2010

It's a battle of free will. It's a battle for free will.

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In the darkest corner of my mind,
Lives a demon not so kind,
Seething with anger, breathing with angst,
Waiting to break the barriers of patience and trust.

Living in harmony with him,
Are my memories, the bad ones that is,
And an evil called temper, shows up on whim,
Together they seek to call my bluff - my inner peace.

With weapons of outbursts and silence that is poison,
They show their presence felt every time I see a horizon,
Go back to my shell I do when that happens,
Recluse is not just a word, but my world when that happens.

My mind churns out thoughts not so sublime,
Clouding my senses with dreams of nickle and dime,
Eating away what's left of my self respect,
Killing all the ideals, and principles of mine.

I fight hard to hold onto to those beliefs I have,
Of respect and honor, honesty and love,
Of the greatness of good and the goodness of great,
Of friendship, life and living it full.

Oh god I pray to thee, give me the power to be,
What I want to be, and not what others want me to be,
Grant me this one gift that I will,
And all I'm willing for is My Free Will.


I have always been kind of a loner. Not in the true sense of the word, but still my thoughts have always been different from others. I hate the "herd mentality", that feeling of going with the flow, pleasing others and living like others and seeking someone's approval. I, like many, have been fighting with myself, and with the conflicts in my mind, to maintain my individuality. I know this is a constant battle we wage, in our minds, with this whole world.

It's a battle of free will. It's a battle for free will.

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