What Lies Beneath! - A True Story

Preface: A Sindhi Affair!

Before we get to the crux of this POST(which is well highlighted in the title), let me try to give this post a proper start!

Recently, me and three of my friends traveled all the way from Bangalore to Athani (Near Bijapur) to attend one of our best friend's wedding. The wedding must have been a typical Sindhi Affair (I say must have been because I don't have any other reference Sindhi wedding to compare it against!) given the fact both the grooms and both the brides were Sindhis and what better way to marry off Sindhis than to have a typical Sindhi wedding (wah!). Forgive my poor jokes for my humor is broke!


For those of you who read past my humour, you might have noticed that I mentioned two grooms and two brides? Yes, this wedding was very unique from all the other few weddings that I have attended. This was a wedding of two brothers (with different brides of course) one of whom was our best friend.

There you go! Now isn't that a proper start? Nope? I know I know. I am a little rusty. Please bear with me. Let's see if I can capture your attention for a little more time....

Note: The following is a chance discovery of cleverly concealed deceptions and untold truths by a group of smart, intelligent, inquisitive and curious youths. Any resemblance to any other similar discoveries made by anyone else in the world should be treated as heights of coincidence!

The Secrets of the Tomb!


The four of us left Bangalore on Friday night and reached Bijapur on Saturday Morning. We finished up our breakfast and, since the wedding ceremonies were to start only in the evening, we decided we had enough time to visit the world famous Gol Gumbaz. So, the four of us took(I mean boarded) an autorickshaw and arrived at Gol Gumbaz, just like any other normal tourists, completely oblivious to the mysteries that destiny would have us unravel.


"Gol Gumbaz is the mausoleum of Mohammed Adil Shah (1627-57) of the Adil Shahi dynasty of Indian sultans, who ruled the Sultanate of Bijapur from 1490 to 1686."


Well that is what Adil Shah wanted everyone to believe. But I am about to reveal to you, one of the best kept secrets of the world. The catastrophes that would befall on the four of us for revealing this secret, is unknown. But in the spirit of RTIA(Right to Information Act 2005) and a general sense of VALIANCE, we have decided to brave all the bad omens (some of which include ,us turning into pigs, us getting mauled by angry cows etc.. ) and share this secret with you........

Real Identity of Adil Shah... Or shall we say Adil Shahi?


When we entered the main edifice of Gol Gumbaz that was the tomb, undercurrents of skepticism crept up into the deep recesses of our inquisitive minds and slowly but surely we became convinced that something was not quite right.
For instance:

1. The actual tomb that was present in the center was too small for Adil Shah (as we would discover after seeing his pictures later).
2. There were these openings in the floor which revealed a huge Cellar underneath (if it was indeed a tomb, then why a cellar underneath? Unless.......yeah i know.... what? oh yeah.. unless they wanted enough space underneath to visit the tomb once in a while.. more on this later...)
3. The Whispering Gallery on the Top of the dome (the one in which even whispers can be heard from one end to the other end) was very out of place for a mausoleum. Later we found out that this was built so as to divert attention from a different place (again..more on this later)

The reasons were there..not apparent to the naked eyes may be, but these were evidence enough for keen observers like us to question the authenticity of information in the history books(it's a different thing that no one remembers them anyway.. but still!).


After having left the Gol Gumbaz with potent skepticism, we were walking back to the gates, when by sheer chance, we spotted the Archaeological Museum which was conveniently hidden away in front of the Gol Gumbaz. All of us unanimously decided to venture into the depths of this museum in the hope of discovering (or rather re-discovering) the truths of the Tomb.
What followed next was a series of revelations in the form of hidden clues in symbols, pictures, crockery, paintings, maps, stone statues etc....The first of these clues was an engraving that we saw etched into some of the stone statues. Here is a rough sketch of what we saw:

I know it is a little hard to understand for us non-artists given the abstract nature of the art, but let me try to give you a toned-down, simplistic explanation of the art. In-fact, we had more than one explanation for what these symbols represent:

1. On the Day of the Full Sun and Half Moon, go to the place where there is Linga and you will find your next clue.
2. The three symbols represent the three prominent religions/beliefs that were prevalent during the Adil Shahi period- Islam (crescent moon) , Hindu (Linga) and a third previously and currently unknown (Full moon.. a bit like Priori of Scion).

In fact, in one of the Historical Maps that was also showcased in the museum, we tried to find a place where there was Linga, but alas, there were none which matched the description from the symbols.Just when we were thinking of giving up, we came across this Advanced version of the symbols in a few of the stone structures:

I say Advanced because of the addition of living creatures into what is primarily a metaphorical symbolism of non-living..err...things. What captured our attention was the striking disparity between the features of the mama animal and the baby animal. The mama animal looked like a one-horned Unicorn while the baby animal looked like a fusion of various different forms of creatures. This horrifying image was our clue#1.

We then moved onto the first floor, the technicolor images of the mama & baby animal still firmly etched in our minds, when we happened to discover the painting of Chand BiBi - the apparent wife of Adil Shah. Rahul, one of my fellow aficionados in mystery fictions, pointed out the slightly mannish features of the person in the painting. Also, the name Chand had a resonating effect in our minds. Could this be a subtle reference to the symbol of Crescent Moon ? This was our clue#2.

Finally after covering almost the entire first floor, we came across the Armor section, where, to our utter shock and disbelief, was displayed the Armor of Adil Shah.

It was a women's Armor!

The shape, size and indention at curious spots were unmistakable. It was indeed a women's Armor. This formed our final clue - clue#3.

As we were getting down from the first floor of the Museum, we put our heads together and tried to crack all the clues.

Clue #1: Baby Animal looking out of place and different from Mama Animal

Clue #2: Chand Bibi the apparent wife of Adil Shah had slightly mannish but mainly womannish features as pointed out in the pics.

Clue #3: Women's Armor for Adil Shah.

We put two and two together (actually 1, 2 and 3 together) and...... the conclusion was ground breaking and unanimous..... Adil Shah was not Adil Shah. He was in fact Adil Shahi!

There was no Chand Bibi. It was a fictitious character created to hide the ignominy that would destroy the Shahis. We confirmed this by looking at the Family Tree of the Shahis. What we saw there was both shocking and substantiating at the same time. Below Adil Shah, we saw entries marked D, D, S , S which was an abbreviation for Daughters and Sons UNKNOWN!

We ran back down to the ground floor and looked all around to see if there were any more clues, any more leads, anything that would lead us to the final truth of this whole Masquerade and lo behold, standing right at the center of the museum was a 20 feet long majestic cylindrical structure (mimicking a rather rotund woman) - THE TRUE TOMB OF ADIL SHAHI a.k.a CHAND BIBI!

We had tears in our eyes. We looked at each other in both amazement and a sense of elation. We slowly walked out of the Museum with a new found knowledge and rib cracking laughters...

Epilogue:

As I post this today, I don't know what fate holds out for me. I don't know if what I did is right or wrong. I just wanted to share this information with all of you irrespective of the consequences. If ever, the bad omens catch up to me and I turn into a pig or get mauled by a cow, promise me that you will pass this information onto more people. Because pigs can get rather lonely :D

Disclaimer: A work of pure fiction and non-sensical imagination. If I have offended the sentiments of anyone, I apologize.

The Dance of Fall

Note:

Falling leaves have always captured my attention. In fact, one of my favorite opening phrase (which given a chance, I would use in every single poem!) has always been 'As the wind blows', which again is closely tied to my fascination with falling leaves. By now, you guys are well aware of my absurdities, so it should come as no surprise to you that I decided to write a poem on falling leaves..I have used simple metaphors to bring out the irony of the "falling" leaves' "rejoice"... You will have to make that connection to truly appreciate this poem :)

[Photo Courtesy: Google Image Search]

The leaves merry around the swiveling air,
Dancing to the tune that he prepares,
Seemingly blissful in their joyful yonder,
They do make me yearn in sinful wonder.

There is a certain rejoice in their fall,
As though all the time in this world is theirs to stall,
And with a grace matched only by their sway,
They dance to the rhythm, while death keeps at bay.

A sudden gush lifts them up to greater heights,
They feel all lighter, much to their delights,
They brush aside wisps of dust off their backs,
And fly higher and higher, mimicking the windy clacks.

But then strikes death with a sudden whip,
The wind beneath them moves on, giving them a slip,
They dance their last dance as they sway their last sway,
And their last few steps, they just wiggle away.

As I watch them gently touch ground,
I can't help but gape and wonder astound,
"If a leaf can enjoy it's brief freedom with such gusto,
Why cant't we enjoy ours, with much the same glow?"

There is a lesson to be learnt by us all,
From the leaves that dance while they fall,
If we could smile our way through worries and stand tall,
Then we would have learnt that dance - "The Dance of Fall".

Urban Tales - The Elevator

The elevator squeaked and droned, as if annoyed at being woken up from its slumber. I could hear that annoyance in its voice, as it rose up angrily and noisily, menacing its way up through the free space, that was its shackles.

‘Shit! This is gonna take forever. I wish I could just take the stairs!’, I cursed to myself. But after the accident that had broken my leg and weakened my knees, my doctor had advised me to avoid taking stairs as much as possible.

And thirteen floors of stairs was ‘much’!!

Finally, the elevator stopped its ascent, and, with a speed that rivaled the saunter of a one-legged tortoise, opened up its doors to reveal the most beautiful face that I had ever seen in my life.

‘Hello?? Are you ok?’

Her words brought me out of my daze and I mumbled something in return. She in turn looked at my crutch and gave a sympathetic smile, forming that perfect curve with those wonderful lips. I dropped my gaze, lest she thought of me as some pervert, and stepped into the elevator.

As the doors closed, I could feel the air around me getting a little warmer and my heart started to beat a little faster. A drop of sweat appeared on my forehead, as if put there, magically, to complete the picture of bewitchment on my face. I looked at her face to check if she had sensed my discomfort, but she seemed oblivious to it. The elevator doors closed, and in its characteristic nonchalance, it started its lumber to the pits. Meanwhile the silence between us grew heavier and heavier. I was thinking of some witty line to break the ice, when suddenly she spoke up.

‘I thought I was the only one working so late. You new to this company? I have never seen you around before’.

Well I did have a mathematical answer for that. Each floor in our company had about two hundred people working in various shifts, with almost sixty percent of them thirty-something men like me. And with a total of seventeen floors in this building, there were roughly two thousand faces like me. There were just too many faces to look at, leave alone remembering them.

But somehow, I thought giving a mathematical answer was not the best of ways to make a first impression. So, instead, I chose to give a non-committal reply.

‘Well. I guess we might have crossed paths before’.

I thought it was a pretty good attempt and it sounded witty too! But she just nodded her head and turned her face to the other side. Meanwhile, the elevator made its customary stop at the twelfth floor. It had been almost two years since this new office was built, and by now, people were convinced that this elevator had some defect in it, which made it to stop at every floor of the building.

‘It’s not safe to take this elevator. Especially at night times, she whispered slowly.
Her sudden change in demeanor caught me off guard.

‘Do you know it could even prove to be fatal?’

‘Gulp.. What is she talking about?’, I started feeling a little nervous.

‘About two years back, one of the employees who was working very late, took this same elevator and when it was somewhere at the ninth floor, the cable snapped and the elevator just plunged down and hit the floor. The next morning, they found the body. The whole face was mangled up and was barely recognizable. Ever since that, a lot of people believe that this elevator is haunted…………... What do you think?’

If she was trying to scare me, she was doing a pretty good job. I looked at her neck, to see if there were any marks or something. I am not sure why, but somehow I started to believe that this elevator was indeed haunted.

‘May be’, I managed to feign a composed response.

She again turned her face to the front. I was beginning to feel uncomfortable. We were approaching the ninth floor now. She looked at me now and then looked at the display panel. The number 9 was displayed in blood red….

I could feel the hair on my back stand up. I was sweating profusely now.

‘Are you getting afraid?’, she asked me in a tone which made it sound more like a threat than a concern.

‘No no. I don’t believe in ghosts.’

‘Really? How come? For all you know that ghost could be standing right next to you’.

She said it with such sincerity that I couldn’t help but feel scared, my nerves tingling with apprehension. I closed my eyes and started praying to god. I did not want to spend any more time in this elevator.

‘Open your eyes. We have reached the ground fl….Hello?? Where did you go?............Oh my god!! You are...??’

I opened my eyes and much to my astonishment, I was greeted by the sight of my own cubicle. I looked to my right and the girl was not there. Somehow, in the split second between hearing her last words and opening my eyes, she had vanished. But it was over now.

'Just like Ground Hog Day', I mumbled to myself as the reality of the situation sunk in.

I looked at my monitor and it stared back at me, angrily, as if annoyed at having been deserted. Having accepted the bitter truth, I stepped out of the elevator. And with each step that I took, the memory of the girl began to erase itself, cell by cell, until I reached my cubicle when the memory faded completely. The monitor was calling me now. I had to test my code. I had a deadline to meet. I sat on the chair and switched on my monitor.


Epilogue:

I had been working very late. I was supposed to finish testing my code. The clock on my monitor reminded me that it was waaay past bed time. No wonder I was felling all lazed up. I decided to retreat for the day and get back to the boxing the next day.

‘Nothing like getting punched by one’s work!’, I muttered to myself.

I shut off my monitor and made myself down to the elevator lobby. I could not hear or see anyone else in the building.

‘Just my luck’, I thought to myself as I called the Elevator.

The elevator squeaked and droned, as if annoyed at being woken up from its slumber. I could hear that annoyance in its voice, as it rose up angrily and noisily, menacing its way up through the free space, that was its shackles.

‘Shit! This is gonna take forever. I wish I could just take the stairs!’, I cursed myself. But after the accident that had broken my leg and weakened my knees, my doctor had advised me to avoid taking stairs as much as possible.

And thirteen floors of stairs was ‘much’.

Finally, the elevator stopped its ascent, and, with a speed that rivaled the saunter of a one-legged tortoise, opened up its doors to reveal the ugliest looking guy that I had ever seen in my life.

‘Hi. Going down?’…………..


Author’s Note:
For those of you who are wondering what is so special about this post, go back and read it again… this time, very carefully and tell me, is there actually a ghost in the elevator?

Colors of Life

[Photo Courtesy : Google Image Search]

It is not always this colorful. There are times when it is a little bright, when the force of nature is strong enough to force open the crack a little. But that has happened only three or four times so far and I don’t see it happening again. Otherwise it is mostly pitch dark. Dark enough to be considered a night. But it’s been so long since I saw daylight, I have lost the sense of time. But not today…

I had woken up to a shrieking sound. It had been so loud that my ears had started hurting. My awakening senses had told me that it had been my own shriek. When I had realized why I shrieked it made me want to shriek all over again.

I can still remember that day. We were supposed to have dinner together at Leela’s. “Nothing fancy honey, Just a small dinner to celebrate our reunion” I had told her on the phone. I could almost see her beaming at the phone. She knew it would be anything but small. Last year, just before I left, she had asked me to give her something through which she can remember me by and I had decorated our entire living room wall with all our pictures – right from our college days till last week when we had been to Ooty for our honeymoon.

‘Every time you miss me, just look at these pictures and remember all the wonderful moments that we have shared together. And if you still miss me, then good. I will feel bad if you don’t !’

The look on her face when she saw that was more worth than anything that she could have given to me in return. If I knew that was the last time I would be looking at her face, then I would have looked at it a little longer.

It had been almost eight months since I had seen her and I couldn't wait to get back to her.

‘Small and you? That’s highly impossible… Huh? Your son says that daddy is lying’

‘Daughter, not son. I have told you it will be a daughter. And tell him… no her that daddy never lies. He just modifies the truth sometimes to surprise mommy!’

‘OK OK… It’s a daughter. Now keep the phone and get back here soon. We both are missing you’

‘Miss you too. See you tomorrow. Bye’

Click! That was the last thing I had said to her. ‘See you tomorrow’. That tomorrow is yet to come.

After that call I had boarded the ill-fated plane back to Bangalore. My smile must have stayed on after the call because people sitting next to me immediately responded to my look with a warm smile. I was still smiling when the first wave of turbulence started. None of us except the first timers gave it a second thought. Then a second wave started and I could see most of the passengers getting up from their sleep. But still none of us were concerned as this was common. Not necessarily good, but common.
Suddenly there was a crackling sound and the sound of air rushing in. Before we could react the body of the plane tilted and life inside the plane was thrown out of gear. The oxygen masks apparently had popped open but gravity was keeping it to the now upside down roof as the plane made full use of this new found freedom to fall free. During all of this a sharp piece of metal cut loose from somewhere and landed right into my face and my eyes were too dazed to react. A searing pain spread through my face and soon took over the whole of my body. I gave out a deathly shriek. My whole body started jerking desperately trying to free my still latched seat belt after realizing that my hands were stuck, but the belt wouldn't budge. Just as I was about to give up, the door gave way and a gush of air rushed into the plane sending a fresh panic wave to everyone inside. There was chaos everywhere as some of the seat belts cut loose and people were flayed from their seats and fell through the open door.

My seat belt suddenly cut loose and I started falling towards the door. I didn't care. All I wanted to do at that point in time was to cover my face. The pain was just unbearable. As soon as I lifted my hands to cover my face, I realized that I had gone right through the open door….


Looking back now, I think that was what saved me. If I hadn't fallen right through the open door, I wouldn't be here. Very few of us survived the crash And those who did, just barely made out alive. We were rescued by the Coast Guard and taken to the Navy hospital. The doctors said that I was lucky to have lived after that horrendous fall.

‘When that seat belt cut, you were a hundred feet above the sea. You fell from a hundred feet into the freezing sea and you survived. You know the chances of that happening? Zero. What can you call it other than a miracle?’

When I finally went home after a year of treatment and therapy, I couldn't be a happier person. I am home, I thought. After all that has happened, I am home. Every day since that has been a gift. And I keep telling myself that everyday lest I forget…

‘Daddy daddy.. See this drawing that I have done. Isn't it colorful..?’

‘Sweetie don’t you know that daddy cannot see? Why don’t you tell him what all you have drawn?’

‘Huh ok.. There is a garden and lots of flowers … Red roses, Yellow lilies and pink…..’

It had never been so colorful…. I knew that it would be as beautiful as my child’s face. How I wish I could see her face at least one time. May be next time I told to myself. May be next time the force of nature will be strong enough to open that crack a little more.

My Innermost Thoughts - Part V: Are we a generation with a lost cause? Probably not..

Our great grandpas and great grandmas would have been happy to hear this if they were still alive. Happy that we are lucky enough to live in a period which can safely be claimed as the most peaceful in recent times. What they would obviously miss to see is that, this is also the dullest in recent times. Now you might think ‘Well that’s not a bad thing, eh?’. It certainly isn’t. We are just talking about mundane work, routines which tend to take the word dull to new found levels and a life whose only purpose seems to be “to live through”!

As pragmatic a thought that it may be, it still leaves you with a sense of emptiness. It leaves you with a feeling of having missed out on something big and having lost that opportunity to be part of something grand and something which probably changed the world. That would make a story worth telling to your grand kids, wouldn’t it? Now just because I want to live through a life full of action and world changing moments doesn’t mean that I am wishing for another World War or another Tsunami. No doubt the Tsunami was one heck of a moment in our lives which would qualify as one among the top 10 list of stories that I would like to share with my grand kids. But would this be all? Sharing stories of natural calamities and how people died in them? In case I have failed to make my point yet, here it goes. I wish to live through a time where something revolutionary happened. Things like ‘Civilization - Harappa and Mohenjodaro’, ‘Industrial Revoution’, ‘Modernization’ and many more such events in history that can be remembered even now with awe. May be I have got it all wrong! These were not moments in history but rather an evolutionary phase spread across centuries. So may be we are living through one such phase in history.

But which phase would that be? A post modernization phase? Or going by the recent trends, an Oil Depletion phase perhaps? The most appropriate one would seem to be a ‘Global Warming’ phase. A phase where the whole of civilization became so power hungry that they depleted all the Oil in the World, ate all the plants and animals, cut down all the trees, drank all the water, and duplicated enough to have more people per square foot of land than the other way round. Yeah, this is probably what we will be remembered for.

I remember one of the jokes that my friends shared with me, which I would like to share here:
One of his lecturers had this habit of exaggerating everything. One day, the lecturer came to the class and told everyone how he had heroically fought a python. After the lecturer stopped with his version of the story, one of the “back bench” boys came up with this quick reply to the Professor: (conversation reconstructed)

Quick witted Boy: ‘Sir, I have seen two snakes fight with each other”
Professor: ‘Oh is it! Good, share it with us then.
Quick witted Boy: ‘The two snakes started eating each other’s tails and in the end both of them vanished!’
Professor:

I was just thinking of those two virtual snakes and relating those to people. With the third World War almost definitely thought to be for resources, it wouldn’t be long before people start fighting each other for food, water and shelter and worst even; turning to Cannibals. This is probably what we will be remembered for…

Did you say a lost cause? Well, we can start by fighting Global Warming.. That sounds like a cause to me.

A video on Global Warming

My Innermost Thoughts - PART IV : Is the grass greener elsewhere?

Chapter 2 : THE UPRISING - Revenge of the Cows

For those of you who have read my earlier article on an analogy between Cows and Software engineers, I am sure the article would have left a feeling of Deja-vu. Yes our routines seemingly take on the same form as the routine grazing of a cow. And yes, we do are required to yield more milk than we can provide to suffice the un-quenchable thirst of the Milkman. But take heart my dear friends, there is hope for us all. Just as Uma Thurman can dig her way out from 100 feet under the ground (Kill Bill anyone?), we can moo our way out of this work-trap with our bare errr….you better watch this video!

My Innermost Thoughts - PART IV : Is the grass greener elsewhere?

Chapter 1 : The Present Day

Defintion:

COW:

Cattle, colloquially referred to as cows (though technically cow refers only to female bovines), are domesticated ungulates, a member of the subfamily Bovinae of the family Bovidae. They are raised as livestock for meat (called beef and veal), dairy products (milk), leather and as draft animals (pulling carts, plows and the like). In some countries, such as India, they are honored in religious ceremonies and revered. It is estimated that there are 1.3 billion cattle in the world today

Software Engineer:

Code coolies, colloquially referred to as software engineers (though engineer is just a reference to a marginally held degree), are domesticated “primates”, a member of the subfamily Homosapiens. They are raised as livestock for work (called code and project), daily labor (billed per hour) and as draft animals (pressing keys, staring at monitor and the like). In some countries, such as India, they are honored in “virtual” ceremonies and neglected. It is estimated that there are potentially infinite software engineers in India today.

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Scene 1: Somewhere near the greener pastures…..

As the sun rises above the horizon, the cows wake up and “moo” in unison. They realize what lies ahead of them. The milkman enters with an empty canister and a yawn on his face. He bends down on his knees, rolls up his sleeves and starts milking the cows. He fills up the canister but he is not satisfied. He wants more milk, as greed is thoroughly rooted in his mind. He gets more empty vessels and milks them high and dry leaving them exhausted.

The cows watch him leave and breathe a sigh of relief. They again moo in unison, but this time in premature joy. After a while the milkman enters again. He is angry as hell for the milk was diluted. Sensing his anger the cows moo again. They all have the same thoughts in their bovine minds: “Well, that is what you get, if you feed us so lame”. He shouts at them and brings the canister again. Then the circus starts all over again.

Scene 2: Everywhere else where the pastures were greener before….

As the sun rises above the horizon, the techies enter their cubicles and “sigh” in unison. They realize what lies ahead of them. The Manager enters with an empty thought and a frown on his face. He stands on his toes, cracks his knuckles, and starts assigning work to the techies. He fills up his daily work allocation but he is not satisfied. He wants more work to be done, as “his appraisal” is thoroughly rooted in his Head (note the absence of Mind here :D). He assigns more work and milks them high and dry leaving them exhausted, suffocated and depressed.

The techies watch him leave and breathe a sigh of relief. They again sigh in unison, but this time in premature joy. After a few seconds the Manager enters again. He is angry as hell for yesterday’s work was undocumented. Sensing his anger the techies sigh again. They all have the same thoughts in their “half fried” minds: “Well, that is what you get, if you lead us so lame”. He shouts at them and assigns some more work again. Then the circus starts all over again.

To be continued…..

Ps: Click here for more such Inner thoughts...

Solitude

[Photo Courtesy: Chandan]

My days are lost in thoughts off late,
Searching for ways for this pain to abate,
My needs are strong, my pain is real,
Lest you think this is all surreal.

As each day passes by with my cries unheard,
The darkness creeps in on me; the light is withered,
Flashing images of days gone by,
Keeps me sane, on these lonely nights.

As I walk on with my gait strayed in line,
My gaze wanders searching for a friend near by,
As I turn back my hope fades away,
For I have lost even my shadow, somewhere on the way.

Alone I sit and stare at the mirror,
Perhaps hoping for another reflection to appear,
Standing by my side whilst I stare into those eyes,
A ray of hope gleaming from those into mine.

A life such as mine sans all fanfare,
Hollows out when turned inside out,
My thoughts are strayed and life's in despair,
Live I do, in fear of solitude.

Mon Bon Ami

My cheeks are soaked with tears dropping nigh,
The eyes are sore from an anguish cry,
Is this the beginning of a rift from thy?
Ask myself I do, as each day passes by.

For this is a hardship , that I can't face,
Too weak I am, to let it grace,
Remember I do, of those good old days,
When thy would accept my sinful ways.

Don't let this sin of mine cloud your senses,
For sinned I have, but didn't mean no offenses,
Hurt you, I may've, with my actions so frayed,
But remember my friend, we have crossed those fences.

This is my last forlorn effort towards redemption,
Tell me my friend what is your presumption.
Are we still good, ol' friend of mine?
I shall promise thy, never again shall I cross the line.