5 Better Ways to utilize your Meeting Time!

We all know how wonderfully boring it is to sit in a meeting where all people do is nothing but ramble and ramble all day about pointless points. Hell, in the cosmic sense, things discussed in such meetings probably have .00000000000000000000000000000000000001% significance! (quote inspired from a famous Calvin strip).

So in the spirit of brotherly love and sharing, caring and all other things un-gayishly inbetween, I decided to compile a list of ways in which one can utilize the time spent in meetings; better. Here goes my list of 5 ways to better utilize your time in meetings:

1.
Since you already have a pen with you (assuming that you are one of those who goes to meetings with a pen and a book. If you are not, then skip to point 2), you can draw caricatures with that on an empty sheet of paper. Some of you ungrateful ones may say, 'Well duh! That we already do!!'. Hey, I know you guys do it! But can you do this?

Note: This technique is highly recommended for those who are searching for a legal ways of vaporizing bosses. However , if this doesn't work, then you can purchase that vaporizer at http://megachromatovaporizer4bosses.com

2.
Assuming that you would have gone out to take that pen and book after looking at option 1 (for those who still don't have a book and a pen, go to option 3), open the last page of the book, and start writing the screen play & dialogues for the climax of a classic movie where your boss is the hero:

Gabbar (You): Naach Basanthi Naach!!

Basanthi (your friendly neighbor-cubicle babe): Anything for you Gabbar Darling! (She approaches the nearest pole).

Veeru (Your Boss): Basanthi..In kutto ke saamne mat naachna!

Basanthi: Mein aapke saamne thodi hi naach rahi hoon.. ?

You: Aiyya Veerudu. I am ready, The girl is ready. What is your probelm?

Your Boss: Basanthi ke pas kya hein jo mujhme nahin? Kyu uske peeche bhag rahe ho?

You (confirmed that your boss swings all ways!): Uske paas ek cheez hein jo tumhare paaas nahin hein. In fact, uske paas do cheez hein jo tumhare paas nahin hein.

Your Boss: (Cheeks pink with blush) : You mean her ....?

You: Yes I mean her.... Head and the brain inside it.

Basanthi impressed by your wit comes running to you and you both elope to the nearest coconut grove to make lo....errr... sing a duet.

Your boss approaches the nearest Pole!

--The End--

3.
Assuming that Option 2 would have brought out the creativity in you and you would have excused yourself from the meeting and got the book and the pen (for those of you who don't believe in this pen business, go to option 5), open any page of the book (the relative position of the page is of no interest to the Vaastu Gods) and start writing a small poem to describe your situation:

As the gentle but strong winds blow,
My mind wanders and my strained thoughts flow,
Wonder they do what would have happened if,
I had an extra pen, I would've probably color coded this.

(After some search you find that extra pen and you use that as well for adding the artist's touch to your poem)

As the fire in me burns, and forms ashes of my patience,
I use this second pen to calm my nerves and quell my impatience,
But then I use the first one again, and the fire is ignited again,
And by the time I finish this line, I will be impatient again.

-- Chandan

4.
Tear some sheets from the book and use your Kindergarten Crafts knowledge (in case you don't have one, then use your jazzy phone to call one of your kindergarten cousins for help!) to make boats out of those sheets. Statistically speaking, the number of boats that you make should be equal to the number of sheets that you tore (But don't worry about statistics now...that's for the other people listening to the presentation). Anyways, once you make suitable number of boats, number them starting from 1 and write the numbers on the back of each boat. Now pass one boat to each of the people sitting in the meeting and ask them to hold the boat upside down and see the number.

Once they see the number, ask them to memorize it. This step is important as this is the point where in, they will stop listening to the guy giving the presentation and start concentrating on your boats. Once all of them seemed to have memorized their numbers, take back the boats and shuffle them. Again pass the boats to each of them and ask to see if any of them have got the same number again, If they have, then they are out and they can no longer participate in this game but instead have to go back to listening to the presentation.

Continue game until only one person is left or the meeting time is over. Whichever comes first.

Note: For increased participation, clearly tell them what the losers have to do. You will automatically see a dramatic increase in the number of people getting different boat numbers each time!

5.
If you still haven't, then go and get that pen and book........NOW!

GO TO STEP1;

END;

p.s: Thought of this post while sitting in one such boring meetings. Hope you guys will find this useful some day :D