My Innermost Thoughts - Part III : Mind of a confused soul

~ Mind Over matter ~

The secret of living a life of excellence is merely a matter of thinking thoughts of excellence. Really, it's a matter of programming our minds with the kind of information that will set us free. - Charles R. Swindoll

[Caution: Extreme philosophy. Not for the light hearted or my blog haters. Criticism is welcome as long as it is unbiased and by that I mean in my favor :)]

"There is an unruly feeling in the crowd. They can be found most of the time staring blankly at their screens. The ocassional click of the mouse is the only thing which signals that they are still alive. The pressure of performance is showing on their faces. This is a do or die situation for an otherwise easy-come-easy-go merry making kinds. The time has come to prove a point and they can't seem to map that point anywhere on the graph because the graph is so vast that there is a problem of plenty(of points). Even after mapping the point, there is that fear of the point becoming obscured and slowly growing itself to encompass other points ,thus widening the focus required.The only consolation they have is the faith and belief in the system which has proven time and again that failures are accepted,albeit once."

Sounds philosophical? It is far from it. This is a scenario of a typical Software company when freshers join and are slowly bridging the gaps to cross over from college life to professional life. Imagine yourself to be standing in front of a hundred new recruits and looking at their unsure faces and trying to make sense out of the awkwardness they are feeling about the whole situation. They are being "trained" to be Professionals and you are imparting that training. Sounds scary? It's far from it..

I recently had this chance of being part of the learning program for the freshers and sharing some "Gyaan" that I have gathered in one year of my professional life. I know one year is a short time to pick up all the nuances of professionalism but it certainly was a very introspective experience for me. As I stood their, teaching them about what little I have managed to learn, I got a mixed feeling of "Deja Vu" and "Nostalgia". Not long ago I was at the other end ,wearing that same unsure-ness on my face and giving myself into the system trusting it to mould me into the person that I wanted to become. You can call this an act of faith , but I saw it as a pragmatic approach. Now I saw the same faith in them , in me, and that scared me a little. One year is indeed a very short time to map ourselves in the industry and without that clear mapping we ourselves are afraid to put faith in our abilities and knowledge. So seeing someone looking up to you for guidance , will certainly make you a little apprehensive but you will get over that after hearing to them gleefully expressing their gratitude and faith in you. So I was really surprised when I received the same from them after completing the training. It was a huge relief to me because the fear of performing was more in me than them. That fear had its roots deep in my mind and was subjugated to further growth due to lack of self belief. Overcoming this fear was a big challenge and I am happy that I have done that.This is one experience that I shall never forget in my life.

In a generic way this is a scenario which people face everyday in their lives. The sheer pressure of performance and that mindset of meeting other people's expectations, is the pulling force behind a person's feeling of worthlessness. Man goes through various phases in life and in each of these phases he is working for someone and meeting the needs of others around him. So when realization finally hits him hard in the face , it's too late to get back all the time spent in trying to be the one that others want him to be. An act of rebuilding once self esteem should not be the last forlorn effort. We should imbibe that into our list of virtues so that going forward in our lives, we don't feel lost. Then the points in the graph and the graph itself will become crystal clear to us and mapping ourselves to these points and seeing as to where we stand will be just a case of "Mind over matter".